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espeonchan:

“why don’t poor people just get a job?”

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babyferaligator:

sighprincess:

What are some cool sex positions

standing at the ATM handin me all ur money

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deadgirlshoes:

Imagine Teddy getting a howler from Tonks and he starts to freak out but when he opens it, it’s like

TEDDY GUESS WHAT, THE WEIRD SISTERS ARE COMING TO TOWN. PACK YOUR THINGS, SON, I ALREADY TALKED TO MCGONAGALL AND SHE SAID IT’S COOL. MERLIN’S PANTS I’M SO EXCITED. DON’T TELL ANYONE OKAY, MAYBE YOU SHOULDN’T TELL DAD EITHER. OH FUCK, IS THIS A HOWLER? I FUCKED UP, I FUCKED UP.

And Remus at the teachers table covering his face to hide his laughter.

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  • 2 days ago
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hooddoggy:

person: chris watch out! youre about to get your crocs wet!

me: I KNOW! its OK! crocs are made from a foam resin called croslite, which is made out of a polymer called ethylene-vinyl acetate! so theyre completely water proof!

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spookyhella:

casually call people “human” to unsettle them and make them question what sort of being you are

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twerkingdead:

*looks in a mirror* you again

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moltres:

overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them

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diamoncls:

Me: *looks at phone for 10 seconds*
Adult: WOAH GEE GOLLY YOU CANT GO 10 MINUTES WITHOUT DIGGING YOUR HEAD IN YOUR PHONE CANT YOU

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laughcentre:

don’t you hate it when you offer help and the other person says yes

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